Chapter Two: Senior, You Mustn’t Take Off Any More…
Only Me Sect.
On a shady forest path.
When a beam of radiant light shot straight into Wang Ran’s mind, the two black-clad assassins exchanged glances, each seeing confusion reflected in the other’s eyes.
“What was that?”
“No idea, but it could be an ambush!”
“Agreed, let’s observe for now!”
“We mustn’t act rashly!”
…
Meanwhile.
Inside Wang Ran’s mind, a virtual interface of a system began to materialize. His first reaction was to ask, “Why did you take so long to appear?”
As a transmigrator, he’d expected a cheat, but this benefit had come far too late. If it hadn’t shown up today, he’d be a dead man, boxed and buried, and wouldn’t that devastate the hundred million girls who secretly adored him?
So Wang Ran offered a stern rebuke, “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused me by being late? I’m telling you, this is all on you. If you don’t compensate me with at least a million top-tier cultivation methods, I’ll never let this go!”
System: “…”
Wang Ran pressed, “Well? Say something!”
“Ding! This system does not accept extortion.”
“Ding! Host’s shameless and troublesome personality detected; activating Scoundrel Mode!”
Wang Ran was startled.
Scoundrel Mode?
What the hell was that?
The system explained, “In this mode, as long as the host acts shamelessly and without bottom line, you will be awarded Dao Value.”
At this, Wang Ran was thoroughly displeased.
“Who’s shameless? Who has no bottom line? I’m one of our city’s top ten outstanding youths!”
“…”
Though the system remained silent, Wang Ran could feel its contempt radiating loud and clear.
“Forget it, cut the nonsense. Just tell me how this system works.”
“Ding! All system operations require Dao Value.”
Dao Value?
Wang Ran frowned and focused his thoughts on the virtual screen. Sure enough, several sections were already displayed: Lottery, Store, Backpack, and so on.
He turned his attention to the first option.
Lottery: Consumes 1 Dao Value per use. Random reward.
(Note: Consume 10 Dao Value to unlock the Dao Technique Lottery, with a chance to obtain a random cultivation method.)
Store: Contains any item from the myriad worlds. If you can imagine it, we can provide it—as long as you have enough Dao Value!
At present, only these two sections were accessible. The backpack was empty.
“Ding! Host has 1 Dao Value. Would you like to draw the lottery?”
Wasn’t that obvious? Of course he would!
Wang Ran nodded immediately and confirmed.
Before his eyes, the compass for the lottery began to spin rapidly. In just a moment, a flash of light, and a perfectly round green object materialized out of thin air.
“Ding! Congratulations, Host, you have received one Enhanced Hand Grenade!”
What…the hell is this?
A hand grenade?
Are you kidding me?!
What kind of nonsense is this! Why would a hand grenade appear in a cultivation world?
Wang Ran felt a headache coming on.
He looked down and examined the round object in his hand. There was a pull ring at the top—no doubt, it was a hand grenade. The words “Enhanced Version” were even specially marked on it.
Still, was it really okay for a hand grenade to exist in this world of immortals?
As Wang Ran pondered, the two black-clad assassins across from him saw him standing there dazed and immediately grew fierce.
“This brat doesn’t take us seriously at all!”
“Hmph, looks like a fool to me!”
“Right, let’s kill him and claim our reward!”
After exchanging another look, the two raised their swords and charged straight for Wang Ran.
Hearing footsteps, Wang Ran had no time to think further. He yanked the pin and hurled the grenade.
With a swish, the green flash shot through the air—only to be caught, barehanded, by one of the black-clad men.
He looked down, sneered, and said, “Pathetic trick. Did you really think such a paltry hidden weapon could harm me?”
From a short distance away, Wang Ran was stunned by this display. “Hey, that thing isn’t meant to be caught…”
The black-clad man laughed boisterously. “So what if I catch it? What will you do?”
“Fine, go ahead, but whatever you do, don’t squeeze it…”
“Is that supposed to scare me? I’ll squeeze it just because you said not to!” With a derisive sneer, the assassin gripped the grenade tightly.
Wang Ran’s heart leapt into his throat. He backed away several meters in haste.
The assassin scoffed, “Coward! What’s the worst that could happen? Blow up? What nonsense—”
Before he could finish, a deafening explosion ripped through the air. Flames consumed the bamboo grove, a violent wind lashed the trees, and thick smoke billowed where the assassin had stood.
“Cough, cough.”
After a while, Wang Ran, still coughing, looked over.
Where the assassin had been, a deep crater cracked the earth. The black-clad killer had vanished without a trace, only a few tatters of cloth drifting down.
In the center of the pit was a mound of black ash.
Wang Ran’s mouth twitched. Well, that reduced him to dust.
That assassin had been at the Foundation Establishment stage, yet not even he could withstand a single blast from this grenade.
The other black-clad killer was dumbstruck. By virtue of being further away, he had narrowly escaped, but was still gravely injured, blood trickling from his lips.
He wiped the soot from his face, stared at Wang Ran in horror, and cried, “What did you do to my brother?!”
Wang Ran, emboldened, puffed out his chest and barked, “What, do you want to sample the might of my Super Invincible Thunder Grenade too?”
Super Invincible Thunder Grenade?
The name alone was terrifying!
Seeing the devastation wrought by that mysterious weapon and the gaping crater, the assassin weighed his chances—and instantly caved.
He promptly cupped his fists with a wretched expression, his tone obsequious, “Senior, it was all a misunderstanding, truly!”
Wang Ran was briefly taken aback, then a little embarrassed. He pointed at the pile of ash and mused, “But about your brother’s death…”
“His death was well-deserved!” the assassin suddenly roared, his indignation rising. “That contemptible wretch dared to ambush you, Senior! He got exactly what he deserved! Senior is the once-in-ten-thousand-year genius of the Only Me Sect, righteous and generous, a hero among men. For him to attempt assassination—he couldn’t have died a better death! Thank you for cleansing our household, Senior…”
The black-clad man really was a talent; he cursed his brother and his ancestors for eighteen generations, growing ever more impassioned.
Wang Ran coughed lightly, then interrupted with some shyness, “Ahem, enough of that. First, how about compensating me for my psychological trauma?”
“Uh…compensation for psychological trauma?” The assassin was dumbfounded.
Wang Ran adopted a solemn tone. “Of course. But I’m a man of great virtue, so don’t worry, I won’t extort you. Just give me ten thousand spirit jades as a token gesture.”
Spirit jades, gemstones infused with spiritual energy, were the currency of this cultivation world.
The assassin’s face fell. Flustered, he stammered, “Senior, I really don’t have that many spirit jades. I only have twenty on me, could you possibly…”
“No need to say more!” Wang Ran raised a hand imperiously. “I understand your difficulties. Don’t worry, I’m generous. I’ll make an exception and give you a twenty percent discount today. I’ll take your twenty spirit jades for now, and you can pay off the remaining seven or eight thousand over the rest of your life.”
“Senior, you truly embody righteousness, a paragon among cultivators!”
The assassin’s heart bled at Wang Ran’s words, but he managed a pained smile, trembling as he handed over the jades.
Wang Ran accepted them without a blush, but then his eyes narrowed in interest. “Hmm? What’s that around your neck?”
“Senior, it’s a family heirloom—a jade pendant.”
“Oh, it’s quite nice. I was just thinking of buying a necklace at the market, but this one suits you well.” Wang Ran patted his shoulder affably.
The assassin shuddered, hastily removed the pendant, and offered it. “This jade pendant would be wasted on someone like me. Meeting you today is fate—please accept it, Senior!”
“Oh, I couldn’t…” Wang Ran pretended to hesitate, but took it anyway.
“Please, it’s only right!”
“Well, all right. I’ll hold onto it for you. By the way, your knife looks pretty good…”
“It’s yours, Senior!” the assassin declared at once, presenting the second-tier spirit weapon with both hands.
“I was just complimenting it, you don’t need to give it to me. Oh, and what’s this?”
“That too, Senior—please accept it!”
“Where did you buy your shoes?”
“I’ll take them off right now, Senior!”
…
A quarter of an hour later.
The assassin was left wearing nothing but a pair of white boxer shorts, shivering in the cold wind, sniffling and teary-eyed. “Senior, please, I can’t take anything else off—there’s nothing left!”
Wang Ran smiled harmlessly. “Relax, relax, I wouldn’t take that even if you offered it for free.”
The assassin forced a grimace, bowed, and stammered, “Many thanks, Senior, you truly are a great and righteous man!”
Wang Ran modestly replied, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just my duty.”
“Then, Senior, I’ll take my leave.”
Without waiting for Wang Ran’s reply, the assassin turned and fled as if his life depended on it.
Suddenly, Wang Ran remembered something and shouted, “Wait! Who sent you?”
But the assassin didn’t answer. He disappeared at top speed, terrified Wang Ran would strip another layer of skin off him.
In the end, all Wang Ran saw was a red chick tattoo on the man’s flailing arm as he vanished.
“Ding! Congratulations, Host Wang Ran, for a successful act of shamelessness—awarded 1 Dao Value!”
“Ding! Congratulations, Host Wang Ran, for a successful extortion—awarded 2 Dao Value!”
“Ding! Congratulations, Host Wang Ran, for earning the title ‘Plucking the Iron Rooster’—awarded 2 Dao Value!”
Hearing the flurry of notifications in his mind, Wang Ran remained unruffled. He leapt lightly onto the tip of a bamboo stalk, hands folded behind his back.
“Ah, the loneliness of the expert. With a flick of my finger, I, Wang Ran, reduce assassins to dust…”