Chapter 38: Old Tang the Exorcist

Lu Mingfei rubbed his eyes, trying to determine if he was suffering from hallucinations.

But as he blinked and rebooted his vision, the four bold characters "Bounty Hunter" remained glaringly on his phone screen.

"What kind of nonsense are you spouting? Did they replace the Coca-Cola syrup at KFC with Erguotou liquor today? You, with your scrawny arms and legs, dare to go off and be a bounty hunter? Do you have a death wish?"

Lu Mingfei couldn't hold it in anymore. In his past life, Old Tang was a pure engineering geek, whose peak deadlift was a pathetic fifty kilograms—he barely weighed more than that himself. If his physical fitness was this abysmal when he was well-fed and healthy, how could he possibly handle this feast-or-famine lifestyle? Forget carrying an employer to safety in an emergency; he’d probably be too thin to even act as a human shield!

"Oh, you've misunderstood. I'm not going to be one of those bodyguards who trades gunfire with people. It’s more like being a priest performing an exorcism for a church." Old Tang sent a calm panda sticker.

"You can perform exorcisms?!" Lu Mingfei was completely speechless. "Don't tell me you're the 'Namah Gatling Bodhisattva,' wielding depleted uranium shells with six roots of purity, spinning at three thousand six hundred rounds per minute, saving all sentient beings with great mercy and compassion?"

"You were a master of physical engineering in your past life, and now you're talking to me about supernatural events? Are you crazy, or am I?"

"Actually, it's not as magical as an exorcism. It’s just that I seem to have a natural resistance to supernatural occurrences," Old Tang sent a proud panda sticker. "Some ancient tombs, I don't know if it's the magnetic fields or curses, but while others get dizzy, nauseous, or heart palpitations, I'm perfectly fine. Those places rumored to be terrifying in the industry have no effect on me. Because of this weird constitution, I've gained a bit of a reputation in the paranormal circle, so sometimes I get commissioned to 'suppress evil.' Hehe, occasionally when I run into a wealthy client, the commission is truly generous."

Lu Mingfei: "..."

No, buddy, don't scare me. Are there really monsters and ghosts in this world? Does your foster father happen to have the nickname 'Uncle,' keep dried pufferfish and lizards in his shop, call himself 'Old Dad,' and have a nephew named Jackie and a grandniece named Jade?

Thinking that Old Tang’s foster father really did own an antique shop, Lu Mingfei almost broke out in a cold sweat.

Fortunately, Old Tang stabilized his precarious worldview: "Actually, I think it's just that those people aren't acclimated to the environment and lack the mental fortitude. Where would there be ghosts in this world? If there were, I’d have probably gotten a 'game over' by now."

"This is too dangerous. They say if you walk by the river often enough, you're bound to get your shoes wet. What if you run into the real deal one day? It’s always the good swimmers who drown!"

Lu Mingfei was now genuinely tempted to go to the United States and drag Old Tang back. Even if he didn't want to be a foreign language teacher, there were other ways to make money; if all else failed, he could beg the 'Little Goddess' to help arrange a job.

"Relax, I mainly operate within the U.S. Aside from the areas where Native Americans once lived, you can't find any other places that pose a threat."

Old Tang was in high spirits. He had been in this line of work for several years and had never encountered anything dirty, not even the traps filled with snakes, rats, and bats seen in movies.

Moreover, there was one thing he didn't mention. Since he had promised to take the 'Big-Headed Bear' on a tour of the United States, he couldn't run out of money for a taxi halfway through; he needed to save up for travel expenses. Besides, his rank on the hunter website was quite high, allowing him to take on some lucrative jobs. By the time Mingfei was on summer vacation, he figured he would have saved enough to take him on a proper adventure.

Lu Mingfei didn't know Old Tang's thoughts. Seeing that he couldn't be persuaded, he could only offer advice on warding off evil spirits: carry black dog blood, donkey hooves, roosters, or a sword made of ancient coins. He even casually asked if Old Tang was still a virgin; if so, he absolutely must avoid red-light districts, otherwise, his 'immunity to all evil'—which relied on his purity—would be broken, and that would be a huge problem.

The two chatted about this topic for a long time, only ending the conversation when Old Tang said he needed to prepare his tools for the mission.

"Damn this shifting world line, look what you've turned Old Tang into..."

Throwing his phone onto the bed, Lu Mingfei paced back and forth in the room, trying to find a way to make Old Tang turn over a new leaf. Although he wasn't a tomb raider, merely an accomplice, it was still illegal. Furthermore, people are unpredictable, and there's no telling how malicious a heart can be; what if Old Tang opened a massive tomb and got shot in the back by someone trying to silence him?

"No, I have to go to Sichuan as soon as possible to find Xiao Kang and his biological parents. Otherwise, this guy definitely won't give up on playing Indiana Jones."

Lu Mingfei thought hard, but this was the only way to stop Old Tang from courting death. He might listen to a friend, but his family was his only weakness. The night was already deep; it was too late to go to Sichuan, so he would have to wait until tomorrow.

"Right, I haven't processed my passport and visa yet." Thinking about the search for his family, Lu Mingfei remembered he had to go abroad. "Sigh, it's so easy to be scatterbrained without an assistant."

He rummaged through his materials. Aside from the original household registration document—which only existed as a copy—everything else was fairly complete.

"Rare to still see their household registration pages," Lu Mingfei chuckled self-deprecatingly. Looking at the two photocopy pages bearing the names "Lu Lincheng" and "Qiao Weini," he suddenly felt as if a lifetime had passed. He remembered going to the police station with his uncle to cancel their registration; that was also the day his own registration was moved into a family that wasn't his. He only remembered that the whole world was gray and black that day, and his uncle's hands wouldn't stop shaking as he signed the confirmation. Meanwhile, the little boy in the mirror cried bitterly, his face covered in snot and tears.

"I hope you two can be of some use, otherwise I wouldn't know where to go to get the original documents."

Lu Mingfei packed up his materials, planning to head out to buy some things before the supermarket closed, and then take a taxi to the airport tomorrow morning for a direct flight to the Mountain City.

Just as he reached the door, he heard rapid footsteps in the corridor, followed by a knock:

"Mingfei, it's me, Professor Guderian. I'm back."

The voice was slightly breathless, as if he had run straight upstairs the moment he got out of the car. Lu Mingfei recalled that only three hours had passed since he left the Regent Hotel, and the drive from the airport took at least half an hour. In other words, Guderian had come looking for him the moment he landed.

At that moment, Lu Mingfei’s hand, reaching for the doorknob, froze.

Could there be a dozen men in black suits waiting in ambush outside? The moment he opened the door, Guderian would wave his arms, and they would swarm in to capture him and ship him off to the U.S.

He peeked through the peephole, confirming that only Guderian was in the hallway—not even that little red-headed witch was there—and his man’s intuition sensed no danger.

Only then did Lu Mingfei open the door, leaving just a narrow slit.

As the door opened, Professor Guderian, sweating profusely while clutching his suitcase like someone waiting anxiously for a reply after messaging a goddess, finally exhaled in relief. The goddess was willing to reply... no, wait, Lu Mingfei was willing to meet him; as long as he was willing to meet, there was still room to talk.

"Something up?" The teenager stood in the gap of the door, with no intention of inviting his guest in to sit.

"No, just wanted to come and see you..."

"I’m fine, thank you. I'm about to take a shower. Let's chat next time."

Lu Mingfei interrupted with a smile, then slammed the door shut with a bang.