Volume 1, Chapter 35: The Two Pop Divas Are Forced to Drink a Bowl of "Smile-Inducing Half-Step Stumble" by Lin Xiaolu

Lin Xiaolu’s panic reached its peak.

Lin Yiming’s red bullet comments appeared once again:
【Heh… I was expecting to see a wonderful cooking segment like Shen Qi’s yesterday, but I didn’t expect…】
【Those who are truly serious about cooking approach it with reverence. It’s not shameful to cook a bad meal, as long as you put your heart into it, any dish is a good dish!】
【I can tell at a glance that these dishes are store-bought; they look exactly like restaurant takeout.】
【To fool the public with such underhanded tricks, I’m sorry, but I really can’t respect that!】
【Honestly, I am deeply disappointed!】

Lin Xiaolu was on the verge of a breakdown. At this moment, she felt boundless resentment toward Ji Ming!

Lin Yiming’s words aligned, to an extent, with Lin Xiaolu’s own thoughts. It didn't matter if their cooking skills were lacking; as long as they put in the effort, it would show their care and affection for their child. After all, this wasn’t a cooking show. Being exposed for cutting corners was devastating to their reputation. It didn't just affect Ji Ming; for Lin Xiaolu, sitting in the studio, it was an immense humiliation.

Yet, on the screen, Ji Ming still wore a kind smile as he placed plate after plate of food on the dining table. To make it clearer that he was the one who had "prepared" the meal, Ji Ming even meticulously wiped the sauce off the edges of the plates with a tissue.

"Taotao, come and eat. Dad put a lot of effort into preparing four of your favorite dishes today."

The camera cut back to Taotao. He seemed to think the study was secluded and free of cameras, so his disgust was on full display.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry! You’re like a reaper催命 constant nagging!"
"I’m losing like a dog over here!"
"I keep running into that damn A-Ke!"

【This kid is a lost cause! Film Empress Lin, hurry up and try for another one; if Heavenly King Ji can’t do it, I can help.】
【He’s so young, yet his hatred for his own father is so deep. This expression is like that of an employee who has been exploited for years looking at their boss.】
【And Film Empress Lin was just praising this foul-mouthed brat to the skies.】
【It’s an eyesore. Compared to Heavenly Queen Huangge’s family yesterday, this is miles behind.】

Every comment on the screen felt like a needle pricking Lin Xiaolu’s eyes. She was on the edge of collapse. Only because of her strong mental fortitude did she manage not to just storm off.

Fortunately, Ji Taotao finally hid his phone and went downstairs. Upon seeing the table full of dishes, he finally lit up with excitement.

"Oh, it smells so good!"
"Dad, you’re amazing!"

Within a minute, Ji Taotao had also performed Ji Ming’s masterful "face-changing" act. Even though the scene improved slightly, Lin Xiaolu’s face still burned with shame. This time, she truly didn't dare to offer any praise! The pre-designed plot had played out exactly as planned, but the pre-designed lines were now impossible to utter.

***

The four members of the observation panel had grown much quieter. Li Huangge was having the time of her life. As long as you, Lin Xiaolu, stay quiet, few people will say anything; everyone can just judge right from wrong for themselves. Unfortunately, as a Film Empress, acting has become a habit you brought into a live broadcast, only for your husband and child’s acting skills to be lacking. Serves you right! At this moment, Li Huangge didn't realize her joy didn't stem from striking back at Lin Xiaolu, but from the feeling that she had avenged someone.

...

Throughout the afternoon following lunch, Ji Ming fell asleep on the sofa while scrolling through videos, and Taotao took the opportunity to play games in the study all afternoon. The entire afternoon’s broadcast passed in an incredibly dull atmosphere, with the bullet comments filled with complaints.

【Did Film Empress Lin tip off Heavenly King Ji about the live broadcast beforehand? The production team needs to give us an answer.】
【This is so boring; it’s far worse than Heavenly Queen Huangge’s stream.】
【We strongly demand that the production team stop broadcasting this family!】
【I’m done watching, this is too dull.】

The viewer count in the live room kept dropping. Assistant Director Zhang Wei had already reminded Hong Tao several times. When the concurrent viewers hit 430,000, Hong Tao finally let out a sigh.

"End the broadcast."

Zhang Wei let out a long breath of relief. He was terrified that this show, which was meant to boost his resume, would be ruined by Lin Xiaolu’s family. Fang Qian and Li Lei shared the same sentiment. Being able to host an S-tier variety show at a young age was a golden opportunity. The morning had been tolerable, but the afternoon was an absolute eyesore. No matter how high their emotional intelligence or hosting skills were, they simply couldn't carry this any further.

The head director’s words were nothing short of a pardon.

Fang Qian couldn't wait to host: "The broadcast for the second family of the first episode has come to an end. Now, let our netizens vote on the options screened by the big data. The option with the most votes will become Film Empress Lin’s task!"

Li Lei laughed: "Heavenly Queen Huangge’s task was quite difficult last time. I wonder what Film Empress Lin’s task will be?"

Lin Xiaolu panicked again because the options on the big screen... were simply unspeakable!

—Have Film Empress Lin and Taotao play a duo match as A-Ke!
—Have Heavenly King Ji choose his three favorite dance videos featuring busty beauties!
—Have Heavenly King Ji make a bowl of "loving" clear noodle soup for Film Empress Lin to "recollect the bitterness and savor the sweetness"!

...

Bai Qinghe looked at Lin Xiaolu, whose face was twitching and who was clearly praying hard, with a hint of sympathy, though it also stirred a sense of crisis within her. She would definitely have to warn her husband and son when she got home—they must never repeat Lin Xiaolu’s mistakes!

Li Huangge and Zhuo Yiyi looked at the options and could barely keep it together. They covered their mouths, struggling to control themselves, their bodies trembling as if they were being tickled.

When their eyes met, they immediately broke.

"Pfft..."
"Pfft..."

Lin Xiaolu: "..."

【...】
【...】
【Have the two Heavenly Queens been dosed with "Laughing Half-Step Pills" by Film Empress Lin?】
【Lin Xiaolu went from high spirits to utter silence; she looks like the life has been drained out of her. It makes me feel... damn, it’s satisfying!】
【I guess she didn't expect this result when she arrived.】

Finally, the voting on the big screen concluded. Red, oversized text appeared:

—Please have Film Empress Lin go home and make Heavenly King Ji personally cook those four lunch dishes!

Li Huangge counted on her slender fingers, seemingly talking to herself, but also reminding Lin Xiaolu.

"Four dishes... broccoli with shrimp and carrots... that one is simple enough..."
"Braised pork belly... handmade meatball soup... chopped chili fish head..."
"Oh my, just thinking about these four dishes makes me ravenous. Good thing I’m off early today; I’ll go home and have Shen Qi make these four dishes for me too!"

Lin Xiaolu felt a blockage in her chest, as if she were the injured heroine in one of her films about to vomit blood. But Li Huangge wasn't finished.

"I’ll film a video of Shen Qi making these four dishes and put it online for the netizens to learn. After all, these four dishes are just too good with rice!"

"Good with rice..."

Zhuo Yiyi couldn't hold it anymore. "Pfft..." She quickly slumped over the table, the assets on her chest pressing into an extreme arc. "Hmph... hmph-hmph..." "Mmm... hmph-hmph-hmph... pfft..."

Li Huangge looked at Zhuo Yiyi with dissatisfaction. "Yiyi! Control yourself!" "You’re still young, you need to learn facial expression management..."

"Pfft..."