Chapter 62: Why Don't the Two of You Fight!

Lin Bei had a dream. In the dream, he possessed a harem of three thousand beauties.

If they all looked like Jiang Yuyan, with skin like jade and faces that could launch a thousand ships, he would gladly accept his fate. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. As the emperor of the Great Ming Empire, it was his duty to help those beautiful women resolve their single status.

These beauties in his harem certainly possessed facial features like blooming flowers. Note that this was meant literally—every single one of them genuinely looked like Hua Hua, a notorious comedic character with a face so grotesque that catching even a second glance would induce nightmares for days.

Having just encountered Ling Lingfa last night and immediately dreaming of this, Lin Bei couldn't help but wonder if it was some sort of ominous premonition. If that ridiculous scenario were to ever actually happen, he figured he would rather abdicate the throne right then and there.

After pondering for a moment, Lin Bei instructed the attending eunuch to summon Ling Lingfa to the palace.

As an imperial bodyguard, Ling Lingfa naturally had the freedom to enter and exit the imperial palace at will. Today happened to be his scheduled day off; otherwise, shouting for him from outside would have been enough to summon him.

Just as the little eunuch went out to deliver the message, Liu Xi, one of the three chief imperial eunuchs, requested an audience.

Lin Bei held no affection for this man. Aside from the fact that this fellow was a major antagonist in *The Proud Twins*, the most crucial reason was that he was clearly a eunuch whose survival depended entirely on the emperor, yet he colluded with external ministers. Whenever Lin Bei exhibited even the slightest bit of unorthodox behavior, this wretch would join forces with those officials to lecture him.

They called it offering counsel, but in reality, it was no different from pointing fingers right at his nose and cursing him out.

Before transmigrating, he had been a corporate drone, getting yelled at every single day. After transmigrating and finally becoming an emperor, he was still getting yelled at by others—wouldn't that mean his transmigration had been completely in vain?

Lin Bei mentally placed Liu Xi's name straight onto his blacklist, simply waiting for an opportunity to eradicate the scoundrel.

Now hearing that Liu Xi was asking for an audience, Lin Bei wanted to refuse without even thinking. Just as he was about to give the order, a sudden thought popped into his head. He pointed at a young eunuch and commanded, "Go, bring me Cao Zhengchun! Make it quick!"

"This slave obeys!"

The young eunuch acknowledged the order and immediately ran off to notify Cao Zhengchun.

In this martial arts world, which fused elements from numerous works, treacherous and villainous officials were far more numerous both inside and outside the court than in normal history.

In actual history, Zhu Houzhao had eight favored eunuchs known as the Eight Tigers. But now, Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun had to be added to the mix, and aside from the two of them, even more hidden antagonists lurked within the ranks of the eunuchs, yet to rear their heads.

Lin Bei didn't care about how these characters performed in films and television shows; as long as they obeyed, it was fine. If they didn't obey, he would simply have to turn them into raw material for the art of shifting flowers and grafting wood.

Before long, Cao Zhengchun arrived outside the imperial study. Seeing Liu Xi waiting outside, he paused in surprise.

Both exchanged glances, each wearing a blank expression, completely unaware of what Lin Bei was plotting.

Just as the two of them prepared to whisper among themselves, a young eunuch walked out and summoned them both inside.

Upon entering the imperial study, Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun immediately caught sight of Lin Bei slumped unceremoniously across a chair. The two of them twitched at the corners of their mouths, both feeling a sensation of something too unsightly to behold. Fortunately, Lin Bei had committed plenty of such absurd acts as emperor, so neither of them felt anything was particularly amiss.

Before they could even bow in salute, Lin Bei spoke up.

"Liu Xi, Cao Zhengchun, I hear that both of you are top-tier martial arts masters—one excels in the Siphoning Demonic Art, while the other practices the Celestial Dipper Infant Skill. Coincidentally, I'm feeling bored and have never seen masters fight. Why don't the two of you have a match? If you win, His Majesty has a reward for you."

Upon hearing this, both Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun felt a jolt of alarm. Although they possessed notorious reputations in the outside world and the martial arts they practiced were no secret, this was precisely the kind of information Lin Bei should never have known. The servants attending this little emperor were all their spies; surely no one with a death wish would dare run their mouth in front of him.

The only remaining possibility was that Lin Bei had secretly made contact with someone outside their knowledge.

Cao Zhengchun and Liu Xi exchanged a look, both frowning deeply.

Seeing the two of them communicating through subtle glances, Lin Bei let out a cold laugh in his heart and said, "What? Does this request put you in such a difficult position?"

Cao Zhengchun plastered on an ingratiating smile and said, "Your Majesty, fists and feet have no eyes. It wouldn't matter if this slave got hurt, I only fear that when Your Majesty needs someone usable, you won't be able to find anyone handy."

Liu Xi also lowered his head and chimed in, "Your Majesty, Supervisor Cao is right. If Your Majesty wishes to watch people play tricks, I can fetch a few people from a theatrical troupe to perform for you."

However, the moment his voice trailed off, Lin Bei's voice rang out once again. This time, his tone carried no emotion whatsoever, sounding chillingly cold.

"I said, I want to watch the two of you have a fight. Are you planning to defy an imperial decree?"

With the heavy charge of defying an imperial decree bearing down on them, neither Liu Xi nor Cao Zhengchun could remain calm. They hadn't committed this offense a few times, but they couldn't afford to pull such stunts right in front of the emperor.

Exchanging a glance, the two let out a loud shout, waved their fists, and hammered them toward each other's chests—in short: *gently pounding your chest with little fists.*

Seeing this scene, Lin Bei was so angry he laughed. He knew that his status as emperor was merely titular, and that even the words of the eunuchs by his side carried more weight than his own. Yet this kind of brazen perfunctory treatment right to his face still filled him with irrepressible rage.

Right at that moment, Ling Lingfa arrived. Glancing at Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun, who were currently putting on a display of flashy yet useless martial arts, he couldn't help bursting into laughter.

These two grand eunuchs, who claimed to be under one person and above ten thousand, actually had a day like this. Truly a cause for congratulations and celebration.

Hearing the laughter, Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun turned their heads. Discovering that the person laughing was Ling Lingfa, they couldn't help glaring daggers at him.

Yet far from restraining himself, Ling Lingfa laughed even louder. While others feared Liu Xi and Cao Zhengchun, Ling Lingfa did not.

His Bao Long clan had been personally appointed by the founding emperor, qualifying as an iron rice bowl that could be passed down through generations. The exact reason Ling Lingfa's kung fu was so utterly useless yet he still managed to become one of the Four Great Imperial Secret Agents was precisely because of this backing. If Cao Zhengchun and Liu Xi wanted to move against him, they had better consider whether they could bear the consequences.

Hearing Ling Lingfa's laughter, Lin Bei beckoned to him.

Ling Lingfa immediately scurried forward eagerly and said, "Greetings, Your Majesty!"

Lin Bei waved a hand and said, "Rise."

"Thank you, Your Majesty!"

After expressing his gratitude, Ling Lingfa asked curiously, "Your Majesty, why do you suddenly have an interest in watching monkey shows today?"

Lin Bei stretched lazily and replied, "Isn't it because I'm bored? Major affairs of state aren't up to me to decide, and even the memorials I see have been thoroughly vetted. What fun is there in that? It just so happens I've taken a bit of interest in martial arts recently, so I figured I'd have them put on a performance. To think they're actually perfunctuously fobbing me off. This emperor—I might as well quit being one!"

The words spoken in Lin Bei's languid tone sent a wave of shock through Ling Lingfa, Liu Xi, and Cao Zhengchun alike.

Yet the two eunuchs still dared not display their true strength. With their level of cultivation, if they were to truly unleash their full power, demolishing the building would be a minor issue; the real worry was accidentally injuring Lin Bei. Assassinating an emperor was something one could do quietly behind the scenes, but no one wanted to have that specific charge pinned on them—that was a crime punishable by the execution of the entire clan!

Lin Bei had originally intended to provoke the two of them, but seeing that they still wore the expressions of shameless scoundrels who cared neither for boiling water nor scalding, he could no longer hold back his fury.

He stretched out a hand toward the man Liu Xi had brought along and activated the technique of shifting flowers and grafting wood.

Despite a distance of nearly ten meters separating them, he forcefully sucked the man straight over.