Volume 1, Chapter 56: Fourth Master of the Sun Family

Hu Xiaozui told me the cause of the affliction, yet she didn't tell me how to resolve it. If this isn't utter nonsense, what is?

I sniffed, struggling to recall what the spirit-medium rituals in my old village looked like.

Returning to the small wooden hut, Aunt Liu immediately hurried over and asked if I had any solutions. Looking at Aunt Liu's expectant gaze, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and press on.

I sat down beside Zhao Chuanwen and hummed, "Hey buddy, let's have a little chat."

Zhao Chuanwen didn't react at all, which made my heart race even faster.

"You're already dead, why are you still staring at your wife?"

Suddenly, Zhao Chuanwen sat straight up, scaring the wits out of me and making me jump up and take two steps back.

Good grief, what kind of creature is this?

Zhao Chuanwen's large eyes rolled around restlessly.

Feigning composure, I picked up a cigarette from the table and said, "Come on, buddy, have a smoke first."

Zhao Chuanwen's way of smoking was terrifying. Without even using his hands to hold it, he clamped the cigarette in his mouth and smoked continuously—drawing it in and blowing it out, drawing it in and blowing it out. In less than half a minute, an entire cigarette was reduced to ashes.

The strange thing was that the ash remained perfectly intact and didn't fall off at all.

"Buddy, just tell me what you want. You want money? I'll give you money. You want food? I'll give you food."

Zhao Chuanwen gave me a sidelong glare, his face full of cunning.

I figured that as long as he could converse with me, it was a good start. For this sort of entity, you sweet-talk them first, and if that doesn't work, you intimidate them.

As for peach wood swords or grand protective talismans, I didn't know how to use a single one, but when it comes to bluffing, I'm your man.

"Since you've come all this way, you must be after something, right?"

Zhao Chuanwen's voice was utterly chilling, startling even Aunt Liu. It was clearly not the voice a young man should have. He said, "I don't want anything else. I just want him dead."

"Burn ten pounds of spirit money! Once you have money, doesn't that woman have plenty of it?"

When I said this, Aunt Liu was startled too, probably because she had never seen a shaman operate quite like this.

The next second, Aunt Liu started pleading as well. She dropped to her knees and cried, "Oh, divine being, whatever you want, we'll give it to you. Just don't torment the child; the child can't take it."

Zhao Chuanwen wore a smug expression. I continued, "Isn't it just women you want? I'll have ten of them burned for you—ten women, ten pounds of spirit money. Time to head back where you came from."

"No! I just want him to die."

I shouted angrily, "Fine! Then you'd better stay put. Otherwise, when my master gets back, you won't have anywhere to hide! You bastard, even after turning into a ghost you still want to act tough with me? Let's see you try!"

Zhao Chuanwen's eyes rolled back and forth. Seizing the opportunity, I reined my tone back in and negotiated, "Let's go. Leave now. You want money? You get money. You want women? You get women. What else do you want? My temper is still relatively mild; once my master returns, you won't even be able to leave if you want to—he'll definitely make your soul scatter into dust."

"Fine, I'll go. Just make sure you fulfill what you promised."

Joy stirred secretly in my heart as I asked, "Which way do you leave from?"

"The earthen platform."

"How do you get there?"

"The imperial treasure flows in a single puff of smoke."

Damn it, a wild ghost even playing by the shaman's rules.

I pulled out two sheets of yellow paper and, mimicking Master Ma's method of treating Elder Sister Qiuyue, waved them in circles around Zhao Chuanwen's head, saying, "Follow me, I'm sending you on your way."

Regardless of whether the ghost had actually attached itself or not, I took the yellow paper and walked out the door. Saying we'd leave from the "earthen platform" actually just meant the firewood cooking stove.

This thing was truly bizarre. The moment I approached the stove and ignited the yellow paper, a suction force pulled it in, and the paper vanished inside with a swish.

Looks like he was sent away.

Returning to the wooden hut, Zhao Chuanwen looked completely bewildered, while Aunt Liu was crying and laughing at the same time.

I reminded them, "That fellow keeps a close eye on things, so don't go poking around where you shouldn't. Ten pounds of yellow paper, ten paper figures—burn them for him when you get back."

Zhao Chuanwen nodded repeatedly.

Aunt Liu tossed down two hundred yuan and left happily.

After seeing Aunt Liu off and returning to the room, I found Hu Xiaozui waiting inside.

Generously pulling out a hundred-yuan bill, I said, "We both worked on this job, so split it fifty-fifty."

Hu Xiaozui chuckled dismissively. "You really are a coward. Why bother negotiating at all? You should've just played hardball. Let me tell you, if your master were here, he wouldn't even need to speak—the evil spirit would run off on its own."

I didn't say anything.

With utter disdain, Hu Xiaozui remarked, "First time I've ever seen someone like you—only ever thinking about women."

I let out a soft chuckle too, and without a moment's hesitation, I pulled back the hundred yuan I was offering.

Hu Xiaozui looked at me with utter contempt.

As for me? I couldn't care less.

Old Xu's specialty is being shameless. I had already figured out how to spend the two hundred yuan: one hundred to buy gifts for my master and mistress, and one hundred saved up to buy a mobile phone.

Hu Xiaozui said, "A blind cat caught a dead mouse, and somehow you actually managed to cure the guy."

"That's called having genuine skill."

"Heh, a fluke."

I really wanted to tell Hu Xiaozui, "Go call your grown-up over here."

Conversing with Hu Xiaozui always gave me a headache.

Hu Xiaozui and I were two extremes. To use modern phrasing, she was an exquisite, high-maintenance fox, while I was a rough-around-the-edges guy who believed that any wretched life is better than death.

Hu Xiaozui looked down on me immensely, yet she could do nothing about it, so she resorted to sarcasm at every turn.

I didn't care anymore. I'd even scavenged through garbage heaps for food in the past; what did I have to fear from idle gossip?

To be honest, Old Xu's sharp tongue was partly due to natural talent, but to a much larger extent, it came from the way Hu Xiaozui and Master Ma talked.

When Hu Xiaozui scolded me, I simply ignored her. After chattering on for a while without getting a response, she found it boring and ran off.

A beast is a beast, and a fox is still a beast. They simply can't remember anyone's kindness. On New Year's Day, when she was eating beef dumplings until her mouth glistened with grease, only two days had passed before she wiped her mouth and completely disowned the debt.

I didn't care either. Besides Hu Xiaozui, I still had Elder Sister Qiuyue—when has Old Xu ever lacked women?

After Hu Xiaozui left, I went to Fourth Grandpa Sun's house.

What for?

To buy wine—three-yuan-a-pound sorghum liquor. Let's start with twenty pounds and test the waters.

Fourth Grandpa Sun was an honest man. He scooped it out ladle after ladle with a large water scoop, charged me fifty yuan, and filled three soybean-oil barrels for me. That had to be at least thirty-odd pounds.

Fourth Grandpa Sun, you're the best!

Fourth Grandpa Sun asked, "What's the matter? Did someone come to your master's house?"

"No, I handled a little situation for someone and made two hundred yuan."

"Oho, aren't you something! How come your master didn't handle it?"

"My master went to his father-in-law's house."

"Huh? Then what did you eat for lunch?"

"The dumplings Mistress wrapped. I just heated them up; they're enough to last a few days."

"Alright then, just cobble together a meal here with me. I haven't eaten yet either; you and I, old and young, will share a drink."

Sharing a drink meant sharing a drink—I loved that loose bulk liquor too.

Fourth Grandpa Sun had raised a good son who became the village chief, and on the second day of the Lunar New Year, he too had gone to his father-in-law's house.

Two bachelors, one old and one young, just needed a simple bite to eat together.

I stoked the fire while Fourth Grandpa Sun cooked. Fourth Grandpa Sun actually had some culinary skills: Chinese cabbage stewed with pork belly, brought to a boil with a handful of sweet potato vermicelli, topped with a steaming rack to heat up a few yellow-cornmeal sweet bean buns—it was absolute heaven on earth.

Before we could even start eating, Master Ma returned. Not finding me at home, he came over to Fourth Grandpa Sun's place to look for me.