67 Childhood Images

When Fang Qinghe told me that my task was to become their undercover agent, and in return, he would help me restore my memory so I could reclaim my place as Bai Ye’s master, my heart immediately tightened, suspended between anticipation and fear.

To be honest, I wanted to know what kind of person I used to be, yet I was terrified of turning back into a monster. Deep down, I yearned for the light.

More than anything, I dreaded being alone with Bai Ye—a madman with a handsome face but a heart steeped in darkness.

So, conflicted, I said to Fang Qinghe, “I don’t know if that's possible. The culprit has already used so many tricks and scenarios to help me recover my memory, and I still haven’t remembered a thing. How could you possibly help me?”

Fang Qinghe replied, “That’s not your concern. If I say I have a way, then I do.”

I hesitated. “But what if, once my memory comes back, I really turn into a complete monster—a devil I can never escape from? I don’t want that.”

Fang Qinghe smiled gently before responding, “That won’t happen. Simply put, I’m not trying to make you become him, but to let you possess his memories. I don’t mean that you’re actually a psychopath—I mean we’d use methods similar to hypnosis to force you to remember some of Chen Mu the madman’s habits, to implant some key memories in you. In other words, you’d be imitating him. I know that’s hard for you, so that’s why we’ll need hypnotic methods.”

Now I understood. Instinctively, I asked, “So, you know a lot about that psychopath Chen Mu?”

Fang Qinghe nodded. “You could say that. I have plenty of information on Chen Mu—more than enough for you to imitate him.”

I pressed further, “If that’s the case, then you should know if I’m really that psychopath Chen Mu. Is he me? Did I lose my memory?”

Fang Qinghe walked over and patted my shoulder. “This will affect how you imitate him and how effective the hypnosis will be, so all I can say is: you are him, but right now, you are not him.”

His answer sounded convoluted, but I understood his meaning. I let the matter drop, realizing he didn’t want to spell things out, and that pressing him would be useless.

Finally, I asked, “Chief Fang, if I really manage to imitate him well and go undercover, can you guarantee my safety? What if I have to kill someone during the operation—would that make me a criminal? And when it’s over, can I really live like a normal person again?”

Fang Qinghe turned to gaze out the window, as if searching for a definitive answer.

Soon, he turned back, handed me a cigarette, lit one for himself, and said, “Nothing is ever fully under our control. I can only promise to do my best to keep you safe. If we succeed, you’ll be able to sever all ties with these cases. I’ll give you a new, legitimate identity.”

His answer tempted me, but fear outweighed my hope. I felt I might die—this mission was far more than just learning to be Bai Ye’s master; I’d have to meet key members of the Avengers. If I slipped up, it would be fatal.

Just then, the door to Fang Qinghe’s office swung open. Jin Ze entered.

Jin Ze spoke firmly, “No. I don’t agree with this undercover operation.”

I was startled. How did Jin Ze know about this? Had Fang Qinghe told him? But Fang Qinghe’s reaction quickly proved otherwise. He stared at Jin Ze sternly and said, “Jin Ze, you bugged my office? Do you realize what that means?”

Jin Ze shook his head, then walked over to me, slid his hand into my pocket, and pulled out a button-sized metal device. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation. I just hid a listening device in Chen Mu’s pocket earlier and happened to overhear. Since I was responsible for Chen Mu being kidnapped—if I hadn’t gone off alone to chase a suspect and been lured away, none of this would have happened—I have to take responsibility. I can’t let anything else happen to him. That’s why I was monitoring him, and by chance, I heard your conversation.”

Fang Qinghe didn’t lose his temper—he was the picture of a cultured leader. He simply asked, “Why do you oppose the plan?”

Jin Ze replied, “First of all, regardless of whether Chen Mu can convincingly play the role of a psychopath, mingling with those crazed criminals is far too dangerous—he could be killed at any moment. Even if he pulls it off and we crack the case, it would be almost impossible for him to return to normal, unless his mind is as strong as a monster’s. But from what I know of him, he might get lost in the role. And since you plan to use hypnosis, it’s just pushing him further into the abyss.”

Fang Qinghe glanced at him and said, “Jin Ze, you underestimate Chen Mu. He’s stronger than you think.”

Jin Ze insisted, “No. It’s too dangerous for him, and it’s not the best plan for the police either. We should be monitoring Fang Lin constantly. I believe Bai Ye will try to kill her, and that’s our best chance to catch him. Also, we need to arrest the man known as Scar. He’s also an Avenger, but doesn’t seem as shrewd and dangerous as Bai Ye. Catching him should be easier, and he might help us make progress on the case.”

At last, Fang Qinghe said, “Very well. The plan for Chen Mu to go undercover is suspended for now. We’ll do as Jin Ze says.”

He used the word “suspended,” meaning it might still be an option in the future.

After that, I left Fang Qinghe’s office. Since I was no longer needed for undercover work, the rest had little to do with me.

Worried that Bai Ye, in desperation, might try to kill me before the end, I was ordered to stay at the police station. Jin Ze and Fang Qinghe were busy and rarely checked in on me—after all, there was much to do at such a critical moment.

That night, as I slept, I suddenly felt someone standing by my bed. Instinctively, I woke up to find Jin Ze watching me.

I shot upright, still groggy. “What are you doing? Haven’t you ever seen someone sleep? You nearly scared me to death.”

He simply said, “Come with me.”

Jin Ze turned and walked away. Sensing something important was happening, I quickly put on my shoes and followed close behind.

After a while, I realized Jin Ze was taking a deliberately hidden route, avoiding surveillance cameras. My heart pounded—was something about to go wrong?

But I trusted Jin Ze, so I followed without hesitation.

Once outside the police station, Jin Ze didn’t drive, but hailed a taxi and took me to an unfamiliar residential complex. We entered an apartment, and when he unlocked the door and stepped inside, I was utterly shocked, nearly dumbfounded.

The place was an exact replica of my own home. I instinctively stepped back out, checking the door number—it wasn’t my home. But inside, it was identical to the last detail: the décor, the furniture, even the smallest ornaments.

Mouth agape, I turned to Jin Ze. “What… what is going on?”

He said, “This is one of Chief Fang’s properties.”

I was stunned. Jin Ze said it wasn’t safe to stay there, so we left. He took me on a winding taxi ride through the city. At last, I saw his car. Once inside, he handed me a file. After reading it, my anxiety only grew. It was a set of patient records, though not very detailed. All it said was that Chen Mu—me—had undergone hypnosis therapy. At the bottom, the patient’s next of kin was listed as Fang Qinghe.

Confused, I looked at Jin Ze. “You’re investigating Chief Fang? What does this mean?”

Jin Ze replied, “Watch this old video first. I copied it from Chief Fang’s files.”

He plugged in a USB drive and played the video in the car.

As soon as it started, I was stunned. I saw myself—not as I am now, but as a child of six or seven. I recognized myself from childhood photos at home.

In my childhood arms, I cradled a wailing infant. I’d always loved children, but I didn’t realize it was true even when I was that small.

But then panic set in. Not far from my younger self stood a cauldron, flames roaring beneath it, water inside boiling over.

Suddenly, a strange voice echoed in the video: “Boil it, boil it.” The voice was rhythmic, hypnotic.

My childhood self paused briefly, then walked over to the cauldron and, without hesitation, tossed the infant in.

Hearing the baby scream and struggle in the boiling water, my heart shattered, an unbearable pain. Yet my younger self stood quietly by, as if waiting for the infant to cook.

“No, that’s not me, that’s not me—it’s not me…” I nearly lost my mind, feeling on the verge of collapse.

Jin Ze placed a hand on my shoulder. Softly, he said, “Don’t panic. Just watch.”